I had to post this article I found in the RedEye because it's an interesting social study of sorts...
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From the RedEye, Oct 25. edition
Out in the jungle, you might need some help figuring out which animal is about to attack.
Women hungry for younger men are labeled pumas and cougars, yet no term is commonly used to define the older man hunting for a younger woman.
It’s the same animal instinct faced with a double standard. It’s more common for older guys to go after younger girls, said Scott Kessling, 23, of Wrigleyville. “When women do it, they get called out on it because it’s not the norm,” he said.
Urban Dictionary listed word entries and partial definitions to describe women, but there were few listed and commonly used for the male equivalent.
RedEye didn’t want to leave men out of the name game. We heard the term “silver fox” used to describe an older man who dates younger women, so we took some creative liberty to come up with our own, non-scientific animal dictionary. The definitions are accompanied by celebrity examples of the species.
Kitten -- a cute woman in her early to mid 20s. Can be playful.
Puma -- An attractive woman in her early to mid 30s interested in younger guys who is learning the ways of a cougar.
Cougar -- An attractive woman 35 or older interested in younger men. Hungry for a mate.
Jaguar -- A woman 50 or older interested in younger men. Powerful and hunts alone.
Puppy -- A cute man in his early to mid 20s. Can still be trained.
Wolf -- An attractive man in his early to mid 30s. Hangs out in packs.
Coyote -- An older man 35 years and older who dates younger women. Intelligent predator.
Silver Fox -- A sexy, attractive older man desired by younger women. Gray haired and tame.
Older and wiser - Cougars hit Chicago's scene, in search of younger men
By Leonor Vivanco
With her honey blond hair blown out, she strutted down Rush Street in her tightly fitted jeans and high heels, her cleavage pushed up by a snug black tank top. The bouncer at PS Chicago quipped, "Here comes my 'Sex and the City' girl." Her demeanor and confidence resembled the sexy, sophisticated fortysomething Samantha Jones.
Once inside, she eyed the door, waiting and ready to pounce on her younger prey. In the dating wild, this kind of woman is labeled a "cougar," an older woman on the prowl for a younger man who can make her purr.
The controversial term is the subject of a new movie, "Cougar Club," expected to be released next month. In the film, two young guys create a club of young men devoted to older women. Definitions of a cougar vary from powerfully positive to downright derogatory. And while some find an older woman dating a younger guy to be empowering, others see it as desperate.
"The cougar is a beautiful animal, sleek and gorgeous and in control of life and powerful," said Valerie Gibson, author of "Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men." She defines a cougar as a professional woman 40 or older choosing to date a younger man with an age gap of at least eight years. The women usually don't want to marry, have kids or live with the younger man, she said. Gibson estimates that 90 percent of so-called cougars have been married at least once. "They're financially independent. They don't need a male for security," Gibson said.
"They're very sexual and very sensual." Yet the term cougar can have a negative connotation and be unattractive to men, said psychiatrist Dr. Paul Dobransky. "It implies aggressiveness and control, to a degree, neediness, and to a bit, desperation," said Dobransky, who wrote "The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love."
A younger guy can sense that overaggressiveness, which can be a sexual drawback because it's emasculating, Dobransky said. That's not how Paul Thorndyke, 25, felt when he got involved with a 37-year-old woman for a few weeks. "The thing I enjoy about them [older women] is they know what they want. They're obviously well put together. They have a lot more confidence than younger girls," said Thorndyke, a consultant who lives in the Loop.
Graciela Gonzalez, 25, who lives in Bridgeport, said it's all about what you want in a relationship. "At our age--the mid and early 20s--if you're looking for romance and stability in a man, men our age aren't it," she said.
But cougars are "looking for fun and sex, and the younger man is where it's at. The younger man is looking for sex and no attachments," Gonzalez said. If guys do get involved with cougars, they should be prepared. "For guys, it can be a novelty at first to be wanted for your youth, your body and your sex drive and to be objectified," said Emma Taylor, a sex and relationship writer. "Not all guys can handle being with a cougar because they feel like, 'Don't you want to know about me and my dreams and hobbies?' " she said.
What the women enjoy is the younger men's energy and enthusiasm. "It made me feel like a teenager because I hadn't felt that attractive in a while and had three children, and it was nice to have somebody who really appreciated me, telling me things like I look better than most women in their 30s," said Robin Tennant, 52, who once dated a man 20 years younger.
The four-month long-distance relationship was rejuvenating for her. "It was a very good growth experience. It made me a lot younger--my attitudes. It was a good recovery from a divorce," said Tennant, a commercial real estate broker who lives in Evanston and is now dating a man three years older than she is.
Cougars often hit the dating scene with a vengeance and with a sense of entitlement, said Taylor, who co-wrote the book "Buh-Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped." "There's no better boost to your ego than going to bed with a guy half your age, especially if you went through a divorce and your husband left you for his secretary or something terribly cliche like that," she said.
While some women would welcome cougar-dom, others shun it. "By the time I'm 40, if I'm not happily married or in a relationship, I would have no reservations about dating a younger man," Gonzalez said.
Although grad school is a bigger priority than dating for her, Lucy Arnaud said she doesn't want to see herself become a cougar. "I feel like that's so sad and desperate," said Arnaud, 28, who lives in McKinley Park. "A lot more guys in their 40s are more stable and ready for commitment so why would you flock to a guy who's 21 and has nothing to offer?" she said.
