What's my name?

I am please to announce that in about a week, I will be starting a new job at a local real estate company leasing commercial office buildings. It is what I was doing before, and I waited a long time for the right opportunity to get back into real estate. I am happy with the choice of the firm, as well as my future co-workers.

This week, I am doing all the things you have to do for a new job: filling out oodles of paperwork pertaining to background checks/drug testing/benefits & payroll, etc., get all my work clothes & accessories in order, crossing off errands/tasks that need to be done before the job starts and won't have time (or the inclination) to do them. The biggest chore of all: going to the Social Security Administration office to get a new social security card and formally making a name change.

Yes, I've been married for over 6 months now, and have just now gotten around to this 'to do' item on my list. That's not to say I haven't been mulling over the name change since before the wedding, because I have spent probably more time than necessary thinking about it. My maiden name sounds so simple, but is a nightmare to spell and to pronounce if you aren't familiar with Chinese last names. Needless to say, it made growing up a little difficult at times, and I can't count the number of times I wished I was married already and had some mundane last name like Smith. There wasn't a doubt in my mind back in the day that I was going to change it the first chance I could. The reality of this opportunity didn't hit me until the engagement when people started asking what I was going to do about my name. And when my husband (aka CD) then expressed his very strong opinion that I take his last name, period end of discussion. Sound the alarms!

Ok, defensive shields went up right quick when this info came out. It snuck up on me over the last couple years, but apparently my maiden name isn't so bad after all. The thought of not having it freaked me out because it's part of my identity--who I am as a person. I was worried that I'd lose me when I got married. Then there's the other unfortunate thing, which is that hubby and I have practically the same first name, so as if that isn't cutesy-in-a-vomiting-sort-of-way already, it'd be somewhat problematic since we are in the same industry and do the same type of work (not to mention the number of friends we have whose names are/or start with 'Chris') -- I could just see the hordes of wrongly addressed emails. Eh.

My initial solution was to just add his last name to mine, without changing every single legal document I had. It would be helpful in preserving my established career, and give hubby what he wants. So for all practical purposes, I am Christy MaidenName MarriedName. Which works great and is actually easier (from the people I spoke with at banks and the airlines) because so long as my maiden name is on my ID somewhere, they can identify me, AND it is easier for them to leave it as such in their computer systems. For common use (i.e. email, junk mail, etc.), I am Christy MarriedName.

The reason the name thing is even an issue again is because of this new job. The stack of legal documents had me spinning on what name to fill out. Legally (as it is recorded on my naturalization papers, passport, and with the IRS), I am Christy Emily MaidenName. So I filled out all the employment forms as such. But I told the IT people that everything should be set up as Christy MarriedName, and I plan on having my business cards read: Christy MaidenName MarriedName. It occurred to me as I was deliberating what the correct and legal way to fill the forms out, that it'd be easier if my legal name reflected what I was going to use professionally. And that's when I got the little pained feeling about dropping my middle name.

Ok, this does sound a little convoluted, but the name Emily has some sentimental value. While I was in the womb, my father was very close to one of his American business associates, who I believe contributed to a good part the success of his business early on in his career. So when I arrived, my father asked his friend to help give me my American name (and the only name I have now as a US citizen). His friend named me Christy Emily after his two daughters. I don't know what happened to this person, but I thank him for giving me 2 names I like. Otherwise, my father told me I was probably going to be an Elizabeth or a Minnie, neither one of which fits me at all!

Ultimately, I want to be Christy Emily MaidenName LastName. But is it a problem if I use the 2nd middle name more than the first? In this age of identity theft and fraud, how does one appropriately handle the matter legally? That is the question, as I get ready to hit the SSA office tomorrow. I'm going to have to tell them something.